interlingua

Okay, the trick is lame and—after all—rather obvious. But maybe someone still has just a little fun figuring out how this code will do.


# include <iostream>
# define nothing using namespace std; int main() { string bullshit
# define print ; cout <<
nothing = "Just another Python hacker."
# define nothing "Just another C++ hacker.\n"; return 0; }
print nothing


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Solvent Drunk Ideas on a Common Afternoon

A couple of things that are quite fun to try on a dragging afternoon in the lab:

• Explain how a laboratory centrifuge works without using the term “centrifugal force”.
• Give a proper explanation why and how a cooling mixture of dry ice (CO_2(s)) in isopropyl alcohol works pretty good while dry ice in water gives a rather poor coolant.
• Determine if (or under which circumstances) it is a good idea to externally warm a fractionating column including a Vigreux condenser with a fan.
• Think of what is going on when the temperature of an oil bath of a distilling apparatus is increased while it is already above the boiling point of the liquid inside.
• Give proper explanation of the processes linked to a rotary evaporator. (Pressure is of special interest.)
• Pour ether on your desk and set it on fire.

A Tribut to C++ Homework

For my very first homework in C++ (about half a year ago) I was asked to write a program that computes the exponential function. Up till now I was never fully satisfied by my former solution. So here is the ultimate version. A little late, but anyhow.

WeiredExponent is a program that combines a maximum of system incompatibility and user frustration potential with a minimum of calculation speed and reliability. It is a little C++ program that computes the exponential function from a number passed to it as a command line argument. However, none of the calculation steps is actually preformed by C++ code. Instead, it forks children that use Java, Fortran, Pascal and Python to carry out small pieces of work. — Each in a very inefficient way. Nevertheless, the program gets the correct results and there is no code that isn’t used. (Such like a += 0;.)

To run it, you’ll need:

• a C++ compiler
• the JDK
• the Fortran 90 compiler from the GCC
• the Pascal compiler from the GCC
• a Python interpreter

WeiredExponent is of course Free Software. This means, that if you open the window and — as loud as you can — shout out: “Hello world!” then you can freely use it for any purpose you want. It is not very recommended to use WeiredExponent in important exams or as dog food. The author of this software is not responsible for bad marks, neither he is for sick dogs.

Download the C++ source code

Autumn Impressions

Beside all disharmonies, there seems to be one thing that unites our society in peaceful conclusion: The more noise a thing produces for nothing, the better it is. This theory

Stealing costs € 100,-

Yesterday I entered a small shop in Linz – my intention was to buy a bottle of wine, not to steal anything – when my attention was dragged on a sign at the checkout that stated: Thieves have to pay a manipulation fee of € 100,- to compensate the efforts that result for the shopkeeper by handling their crime.

Since I like that idea very much I hereby officially inform everybody that – if you feel like omitting any kind of crime to me – you will, beside the legal consequences, be asked to pay me a manipulation fee of € 200,-. I accept cash and bank transfers but no credit cards.